Warning: Icky parenting story ahead!
My baby girl Kendall was unstoppable last night!!! I probably should have been better prepared at bath time last night, since for the past week she is currently batting a thousand for pooping in the tub. It doesn't matter what time her bath is, she has some need to make it her own. But last night she did not one, but TWO better. After contaminating the tub, I whipped her out and stood her on the bath mat, which she promptly peed on. Then, as I was getting Maggie out of the now-yucky tub and trying to avoid the peed-on bath mat, I turn around to see Kendall pooping on the floor!!! Ugh! How come nobody ever told us about these things versus all the adorable things we hear about?? I'll tell you why: nobody would have kids! I mean, I worked with all kinds of body fluids in the lab, but that was from a specimen cup with gloves and a lab coat on; plus the smelly stuff you could stick under a vent hood to work on. I'm ranting, I know, but the bath incidents just happened to cap off a fairly stressful day. Honestly, I was this close to opening a bottle of wine, sticking in a crazy straw, and going to town. I totally understand Bill Cosby's comment now: God made kids cute so we don't kill them!! Think about all the icky stuff you've done as a parent that NEVER would have crossed your mind before having kids. I want to hear some stories to make me feel better!! Happy parenting!
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4 comments:
Kim! I laughed so hard reading your blog because I have been there with Mack! I hear ya sister!
Kim--at least you can lock in her in the house and arrange all of her playdates. Wait until the turns 16--stayed with Carly for a week this summer when Kim was gone and she about did me in--and she was good--it's just the worry that'll kill you. Who are the with? who is driving? are they good drivers? are they drinking? blah blah blah....
Okay Kim, been there, done that with both boys at one time or another. The worst experience of my LIFE though, was coming back from an already stressful trip to Roswell, N.M (we lived in New Orleans then but my inlaws lived in Roswell) and I was pregnant with David (now 18) and Thomas was about 13 months old. We got right outside of Roswell, and he started throwing up. We had to stop at hospitals in three separate towns, over the next 3 days (that is how long it took us to get home!) to give him IV fluids (104.1 was his highest temp on that trip) and while one of us stayed with him (me) the other one (my sweet husband), would go clean out the last round of vomit and diarrhea that had missed all the things that we had put down and around in the car, and head out to Walmart and buy another new batch of cheap towels and blankets! It was truly a nightmare. Each time we would start out again, and think, "okay, this time we will make it home" and sure as heck as soon as the shot they gave him wore off, it would start all over again.
OK Roz - You win!
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