This pretty much sums it up, especially the last part.....

Your Stress Level is: 54%

You are somewhat prone to stress, especially when life gets hard. When things are good, you resist stressing over little problems. But when things are difficult, you tend to freak out and find it hard to calm down.

How Stressed Are You?

Doin' the pigeon.........

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them! You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

She's Finally at Peace......

You all have heard me talk about Angie, who has been battling ovarian cancer for several years. She died on Monday night and although I don't know the details I can be sure that she is at peace and her soul is with the Lord. Her funeral is Thursday afternoon at 2:00 pm at our church and will probably be very crowded, a testament to Angie's spirit and the blessing she was to get to know as a friend, if only for a short period of time. It really brings all this fuss over the dance recital into perspective for me, the one who stresses out over every detail of it. Keep her family in your prayers, especially her daughter, that they can know she's at peace and can move on with their lives as she would want them to.

Don't know how well this really describes me, but it IS U2 so it can't be that bad.......

Your Theme Song is Beautiful Day by U2

"Sky falls, you feel like It's a beautiful day Don't let it get away" You see the beauty in life, especially in ordinary everyday moments. And if you're feeling down, even that seems a little beautiful too.

What's Your Theme Song?

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is low. You're a pretty conservative person, and you favor what's socially acceptable. You think that change for novelty's sake is a very bad idea. While some may see this as boring, many see you as dependable and wise.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Other than the neroticism (remember I identify most with Pablo here) I think this pretty much describes me. What do you think????

Ramblings of an insomniac......

AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!! I finally slept through the night on Friday for the first time in over a month and was so excited. So how come I'm once again blogging during the wee hours of the morning??? I thought I was through with this crap! Some possible reasons:

1. Maggie, my girl who used to sleep like the dead, has decided she's scared of thunder. So we had a guest in our bed for about 2 hours while the latest storm rumbled through. Anybody who has attempted to sleep with a child in their bed knows how impossible that is. Amazing the effect a 35 pound child can have on two people in a king-sized bed.

2. I, in a moment of insanity (there are so many), planned a birthday party/cookout in honor of my baby girl turning three. No biggie except our backyard is weed city, I'm behind on my office work dealing with the end-of-the-month paperwork overload, Jeff is being held captive by VV (didn't get home until 11:00 pm and he wasn't even on-call), Maggie has extended rehearsals for the recital next week, the OK medical license board decided we needed to be audited for his CME credits, we won't be home for most of the day before the party, and the day of I've got a bell choir concert at church and have to be there at 8:15 for rehearsals. WTF was I thinking???? Good thing those coming love me enough to embrace the chaos that goes with me!!! Martha Stewart I definitely am not, but we figure enough alcohol will keep anybody from noticing...

3. The dance recital is May 11. Now at least I've been through it once and have some idea what lies ahead in the next 8 days, but it isn't conducive (sp??) to decent sleep. Plus Maggie is balking at going and the only way to get her there is to remind her the end product involves dressing up and getting to wear makeup.

4. This is Meals-on-Wheels week for the Alliance. I don't really mind doing it other than it just cuts my day in half. You just start to get into your office groove and have to leave for an hour. It's a good program and I feel good when I participate, but you know how it goes......

All that aside, there have been some good things going on in the Hood household. First of all, Jeff loved the pictures and was totally surprised that I pulled it off without him knowing. Score!!!!! Second, we became the proud owners of a 39 foot class A motorhome last Friday (think 'bus' and you get the picture). Sure Jeff got the trial by fire by driving it for the first time on I-35, in construction with the concrete barriers on either side, in a thunderstorm, but he's a quick learner and did fine. We spent most of the weekend hanging out in it, with all the slides and awnings out, in our driveway. Excuse me, but do I have a big 'L' on my forehead??? (for some blondes out there, that stands for 'LOSER'). Doesn't matter 'cause we all had fun, except for the moment Kendall whacked her head on the corner of one of the slides, but she's fine. We saw the RV movie the next night, and took lots of mental notes of what NOT to do on our first family trip. We are working on OU tickets for next season and plan to be in Norman for all the home games. Talk about a party rig!!!!

As my eyes get heavy, I'll leave it at that for this morning. See ya later!!!!!

Feeling WINE-y, But In a GOOD Way!!!

So I am totally looking forward to the wine tasting tonight!! It is kind of sad that my social life is so pitiful that I've been looking forward to this for weeks, but what can I say? Two kids with a total age of less than eight, a doctor hubby, and a home office to work in and attempt to keep clean pretty much speaks for all my time. The last time the hubby & I were seen in public together without the kids was Lad's birthday party. Before that?? You'd have to go back to early March and run into us in Dallas on the anniversary weekend. For the people I know are going, I know we aren't the only people who need a night out, so lets make the most of it, OK??!! I say let's head to the club afterwords to use up some of our meal allowance on some dinner!!! Who's with me??

Red, red wine......

In the Jungle, The Mighty Jungle, The Lion Sleeps Tonight......

So since my nightly wake-up time has moved to about 1:30, I've been spending more and more quality time learning useless facts by the light of the computer screen. Coolquiz.com has just about every type of quiz you can think of, and they have a whole slew of 'Friends' quizzes. This was the answer to one of the questions I saw yesterday and it's been stuck in my head ever since. I've decided to use my time at night to bone up on my Friends trivia in the event I ever get to play the game. So watch out!!!! My other fave, which shows my geekiness, would be the science quiz. Other than the physics questions I do pretty darn well plus I've actually learned some stuff. Jeopardy, here I come!!

My other new habit is the re-discovery of ebay (thanks Dawn!!). I already have one Michael Stars tee on the way ($12.00 baby!!) and have bids on three others. Probably not the best way to spend my time, but at least it's on sale, right???

I'm sorry to hear my bitchiness from the recent past has spread to others. I hate those days when my fuse is so short that even totally inanimate objects can make me see red. Annoying people?? Forget about it!!! It just takes so much out of you when that mood hits; I really hope it doesn't last too long for anybody. If so, I can always serenade you with a variety of songs to focus your attention elsewhere.

GSPS enrollment was a bit of a bummer when it hit me that I only had to enroll one this time. My Maggs will be in big-girl school next August. I never thought I'd get all mushy over this, but it's been so nice to have her at our church preschool, among people I totally trust, in a class with only 8 other kids this year. I have nothing against public school; it's the path I took as a kid and I think I turned out OK. There's just so much I know she's going to be exposed to and it just makes me nervous. She'll be just fine; I'm the one who'll be a nervous wreck!! So be ready to hear me blubber in a few months!

I am soooooo looking forward to this weekend. Wine tasting and adult prom. Can't beat that!!! I'm getting my hair done and everything, so don't try and touch it Saturday 'cause you might not be able to get your hand out!! My only concern is that my dress will slip off my shoulder, so if I have a Tara Reid moment please promise you'll tell me!!!!!!

Sorry for the randomness of the post. Gotta do something with my time........See ya later!

Unwanted Night Owl Tendencies.......

Oh I was so on my way to sleeping through the night, but Kendall randomly woke me up at 2:45 am. Of course she's back asleep like everybody else while I'm back at the computer catching up on news and checking blogs. For whatever reason I go through periods of semi-insomnia where I manage to fall asleep pretty easily but wake up (or am awakened) at roughly the same time every night. The time right now for me seems to be 2:30 am. I've learned through experience that I can toss & turn in bed until just before it's time to get up for the day or I can go ahead and get up for about an hour on the computer and then manage to catch a few more hours of shut-eye. Amazing how that one hour break in your sleep catches up with you during the day, though. I can't really identify the stresser that's bringing this particular cycle on, because I'm actually feeling pretty good about life right now. The girls are still practicing the occasional emotional warfare on me, and after the scene in the park yesterday I can probably blame the sleeplessness on that for now. I just looked at some pics of my adorable nephew living it up in Florida and the whole family seems happy, so I'm really hoping it will be the right move for them. My mom should have gotten home sometime on Tuesday from China, but I don't expect to hear from her until later today.

I am totally looking forward to next week: wine tasting on Thursday and what I'm calling the adult prom on Saturday (school foundation fundraiser). I may be solo at both events, but who cares??!! ;-) I am planning on having a lot of fun with my friends no matter what!!!! Have a good Wednesday everybody!!!!!

So I'm pleased to announce that the funk I'd found myself in last week seems to have lifted. I think that listening to a fellow mom describe the ordeal she went through when her little boy developed a tumor at the base of his brain was the kick I needed. I had a good cry as she described the 80+ surgeries they went through only to lose him in the end, and I think it all worked to set me back on the right track again. Amazing what a little perspective can do, huh??

It's been a good weekend. Friday was great with the girls and Jeff & I spent Saturday and Sunday working in the yard. Not our pick of activity for the weekend, but we both feel better having made a dent in the yard work that's been staring us in the face for weeks now, and we both are sporting a nice pink glow on our sunburned skin as proof we finally got outdoors for a while. My turn as a Sunday school teacher for our class even went pretty well, although I wouldn't call myself a teacher, more of a discussion leader. The topic was the release of a recent study attempting to quantify the effects, if any, that prayer had in the healing of cardiac patients. It was just a story I came across on my daily Google news run that I thought was interesting enough to keep our class in discussion for about 40 minutes (was late and had to leave early for bells) so I was glad it worked out.

Looking forward to everybody coming home: Dawn (blanking on where she went), Jeri (from Vegas), the girls (from the cruise), and my mom (from China). I want to live vicariously through all their stories without the hassle of travel, customs, sea-sickness, and over-stimulation of the casino. Sounds like a pretty good deal to me.

That's about all I have to report from my corner of the world. Talk to ya later.

Hello........My Name is Mrs. Whiiiiiiiineeerrrrrrr......

Man, I'm doing it again and it's still over a month from the dance recital: insomnia and blogging at 3:00 am. I am in a funk and I'm not totally sure where to put the blame; I hate feeling like I'm the constant guest star in my own little pity party. WARNING WARNING: WHINING AHEAD....... Several things I can think of:

1. My brother and sister-in-law suddenly up and moving back to Florida, taking my baby nephew with them, and I didn't get to see him before they left. The Saturday before they leave (the following Wednesday) I get the following e-mail: "Kim, We are leaving this Wednesday. If you guys wanna see Bryce before we head out, Sunday or even Tuesday afternoon might be good. We are packing the POD and won't have much furniture to sit on or anything like that. Let us know. Love ya. Sean. " Now keep in mind, they don't live around the corner from me. To see them works out to be almost a 300 mile round-trip for me, a 5-year old, and an almost 3-year old. Now when I learned they were moving a few weeks earlier I had mentioned the possibility of getting together before they left, but I was thinking along the lines of converging at my mom's house in OKC, which is about a 180 mile round trip for both families. Maybe I was thinking they'd like to see us (especially his nieces) before they left as well??!! Call me sensitive, but my feelings were hurt. The option of even trying to go was taken away by the fact that my baby girl was running a fever and I woke up Sunday morning with a sore throat that turned out to be from a strep infection (that's what Kendall had, too; I'm soooooooo not in the running for Mother of the Year 2006) . So we didn't get to see them and that was the last contact I had from my brother through today i.e. no "Sorry you're sick and we couldn't get together." or even "We all made it to FL safely.". I know he's busy, but damn, I'm his only sibling and I worshipped the boy when we were growing up in the way that only a little sister can. Ouch.

2. Kendall ran a fever for a full week. Jeff & I thought she had a viral infection called roseola, which is categorized by a high fever, a rash, and maybe a runny nose, which fit her symptoms to a T. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if the kid would take her Tylenol by mouth, but since she's mastered the medicine-spit-out, we had to resort to suppositories when her temp was hovering in the 104-105 degree range. She was miserable and so were we. She wasn't eating, so we put her back on whole milk just to give her some extra fat and calories. She also wanted to be held all the time and basically monopolized my time and attention, as any sick person will do when Mommy is around, and this totally didn't sit well with Maggie. Anyways, I wake up Sunday morning with a horrible sore throat; I'm talking the clench-your-jaws-before-swallowing-because-you-know-how-badly-it's-going-to-hurt-sore-throat. I go to see the family doc on Monday for a strep screen, because I'm pretty sure that's the culprit, and I make an appointment for Kendall just to get her checked out as she's been febrile pretty much since the previous Tuesday. After my test is positive, Dr. Carpenter looks at Kendall's throat and says "Hers is pretty red, too. Do you want a strep screen on her, too??" Might as well as I think "Crap. Why didn't I get her here sooner??!!! Roseola what??" Of course her test is positive as well, which makes me wonder if her throat felt that bad for a week or if she actually had two infections back to back. Either way I feel like posting a sign on my forehead that flashes "BAD MOMMY!!!!". Then that afternoon the preschool calls to tell me Maggie is running a fever and I need to come get her. On the way I call the doc again and she says the chances she has strep as well are pretty high and wants to put her on antibiotics as well. So I had both kids home on Tuesday, even though all three of us were much better (Kendall's fever finally broke that morning), I didn't want to send them to school until they'd been fever free for at least 24 hours. It was sooooo nice to hug my baby and not feel her burning up. Kicking myself for not taking her in sooner, although we honestly thought roseola was to blame, and the fever with that can run as long as 7 days........whatever to lessen the guilt......

3. Work. Work. Work. Since I'm on my own as far as childcare and any billing help as well as in the middle of a software switch, I've been struggling to keep up. Add to that the fact that I had kids home on two days they're usually in school has made things mount up even more. I want to do my job, and I want to do it well, I'm just trying to figure out that balance of work and home, even though my office IS home. I can get caught up with work, but the housework suffers and vice versa. I know I have the option of hiring some help, but I have this insane desire to prove I can do it all on my own (I just had a flash of Lola from 'Charlie and Lola' here, if anybody knows what I'm talking about). Plus, I can get really territorial sometimes and I just don't want to deal with having somebody else in the house, having to show/tell them what to do, having to watch what I say, etc. I also have a need for time alone in my house, even if I'm working the whole time. I'm becoming a control freak. I know there's a balance out there, I just have to find it without shortchanging anybody. I know Jeff takes the brunt of that right now, and God love 'em, he still puts up with me even though I think he's still trying to figure out all of my weirdness. Ahhhhhhh....going for the position of Supermom is sooo stressful........

4. Jeff's dad had bypass surgery on Thursday. Even though I think we knew it'd be OK, it's still stressful and worrisome whenever open-heart surgery is involved. I worried for Don, of course, but also Jane, for her role as wife and care-taker, and for Jeff, because it's his dad and that involves a whole different set of emotions. He's also a doc himself, so he knows the risks involved. He got to see him the day of surgery and on Monday, so I think that was good for all of them to be together. We're just keeping our fingers crossed that Don listens to his docs and follows the rules for recovery, even though I know he hates not being able to be active and feel really good. It'll happen, he just has to be patient. Keep him in your prayers.

5. My mom, my main sounding board, left on Thursday for China. (!) I'm excited and worried for her, but I hope she has a blast. I am just missing being able to talk to her right now. She'll be back in another week........

6. I saw Angie on Sunday and I spoke with her briefly, but I feel guilty because the whole situation makes me totally uncomfortable. Not that any of us is comfortable dealing with a dying person, but I just don't know what to say or do. The typical "How are you doing??" or "You look great!!!" just don't seem to fit when you're speaking to somebody laying in a hospital bed in their living room, breathing oxygen, and you know they're going to be gone soon. I was scared to get too close because my family has been passing infections back and forth and she has no strength to fight anything off right now. To be honest I don't want any of her time left here on earth to be miserable with a cold she got from me or worse, for my cold to be what kills her. I feel guilty that I couldn't just sit and have a conversation with her, because she's a wonderful person, but dealing with sick people is not my forte, which is why I worked in the hospital lab: I could help people without having to deal with them. When I took dinner on Monday night, she was asleep. I just tried to get a good look at her, because I don't know if I'll see her again. I totally feel like a coward but I don't know what to do. I just pray for her and her family and just keep them close to my heart on a daily basis.

7. I know it's petty, but right now I feel like I'm caught between two groups of friends/acquaintances but not really an integral part of either of them. There have been some recent events that happened that I really didn't know about until somebody asked me if I was going or why I wasn't when I never was invited in the first place. Maybe if it'd been one or the other it wouldn't bother me so much. I don't think it was personal, I just feel like I'm in junior high again. I think this is the point that makes me realize the funk is on, because I don't think it would bug me if it wasn't. I also know that it would be considered overreacting that I didn't get an actual invite, but I guess I think that if I was meant to have one my name would have come up on the list in the first place. I know it's my fault as much as anybody's; I've pulled out of some things and have turned down offers from other groups/events because Jeff's schedule, my schedule, and the kids keeping me busy. Yes I know there are such things as sitters, but to do all these things I'd go broke paying them plus I'd never see those little rascals, hence more mommy guilt. Plus, I really have to work up the nerve to ask somebody to watch my kids, which I think goes back to the control freak issue and the fact that I know they have their own lives to live or other people to help. AAAARRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH. The cycle never ends.

To conclude, I'm in a funk and I think these are the contibuting factors. I feel better just having blogged about them, less guilty than I'd feel if I had cornered some poor soul and dropped my whine-bomb on them when they have their own things to deal with. I'll get through it; it's just been one of those things.

Thanks to my consignment store shopping buddy; I think I really needed that trip, too (maybe not as badly as you, though!!!) even though we had to wait for the tornados to pass by before we could leave. I think we both got some needed venting done, so I'd say it was a very productive trip indeed!!!!!

Now, I think I need some cheese........all that whining has made me hungry.......

A Tenth HE Won't Forget......

Jeff & I got back late last night from celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary in Dallas. Overall, the weekend was wonderful and just what we were needing. The Mansion at Turtle Creek is AWESOME and I highly reccomend it to anybody needing a weekend getaway to a five-star hotel. Nevertheless, it got off to a rocky start.........
Let me set the scene: Friday night we are traveling down I35 South in the BMW, which Jeff has lovingly washed and detailed by hand the previous day so it would look extra good for it's stay in the big D. Things are going well until we hit Marietta, OK, about 15 miles north of the state line. Suddenly, we are in a traffic jam that goes on for as far as the eye can see. In the middle of freakin nowhere. With no exits available until the Winstar casino at mile marker 1. Unbeknownst to us, we were caught in the horrible mix of fans headed to the Big 12 tournament in Dallas and construction on I-35 which narrowed it down to one lane for about 8 miles. It took us two freakin hours to drive 15 miles. You have to understand, I married a man who, like the rest of us, absolutely hates getting stuck in traffic but add in the fact that we were in a HUGE traffic snarl in the middle of Nowhere, OK and it was almost too much to take. I'm talking sitting on the interstate, not moving at all, while you watch traffic on the northbound side whizzing by at full speed. Apparently, though, somebody upstairs thought we could take a bit more and added in a thunderstorm. Did I mention it hailed?! Three waves of it? Ranging from pea- to nickle-sized?? Now I know that's not very big, but if you've ever been in a car while hail is raining down on you and your vehicle you know it doesn't sound pretty. Especially in your BMW M5 that you spent last night polishing by hand. I'm telling you, the stress of watching my hubby go through that on what was supposed to be a relaxing weekend without the kids was enough to leave me with mouth ulcers by Sunday morning (a delayed effect of stress in me) . The only blessings are that we had plenty of gas in the car (we came across several that died on the side of the road after running out) and neither of us had to pee. Be thankful for the little things in life!!!! I am very happy to say that once we broke free, a few miles into Texas, the rest of the weekend went without a hitch. Dinner at the Restarant was awesome and they started us off with champagne and finished by writing "Happy Tenth Anniversary" in chocolate around the edges of our dessert plates. Sometimes a little butt-kissing is so awesome, and the Mansion is supposed to be one of the best in the world. Jeri: you'll be happy to hear that Thomas is still there and giving WONDERFUL massages. He's also still acting as bellman, too, which makes seeing him the next morning after he's done your massage to be picking up your bags interesting.......On the way home we stopped for brunch at the Cracker Barrel located at the Outlet Mall of Gainsville. After totally cleaning our plates (Jeff was like "Wow. You WERE hungry!!") we cruised through Gap. Jeff totally go into picking out clothes for the girls and it was very sweet for me to see him like that. He picked out their Easter dresses and several outfits for summer. Awwwwwwww. It was one of those precious, sweet, totally sappy random moments when you realize how much you love your spouse, and that after 12 years of knowing him he can still make you feel all mushy inside and lucky he chose you.

The girls had a wonderful time with their grandparents other than Maggie getting what was some kind of 24 hour bug with a fever on Sunday. I think Kendall really got to bond with them, and since she's been so affectionate lately, they were eating it up all her hugs and kisses.

My mom was originally supposed to keep the kids but ended up spending most of the week with my grandmother, who we recently had to move into assisted living after she fell and broke her shoulder. She's had a hard time adjusting (who wouldn't?) but seems to be doing better. I sent her a bunch of pictures of the kids and I'm hoping that'll cheer her up. She doesn't want any of us to see her just yet, so we're going to have to try and keep her spirits up via mail & phone calls. Keep her in your prayers.

That's about all I have to report. Hope everybody here had a great weekend!!!! Call me if Spring Break at home with the kids starts getting to you; we'll get together!!

Fashion Faux Pas and Five Year Old Fits

So if you see my older child in the near future, please let it be known that I am not responsible for the fashion statement she's trying to make with her bangs. The only thing I'll take credit for is being stupid enough to leave scissors within her reach. She apparently felt that her bangs were too long and therefore her eyes couldn't be seen, so she decided to give them a trim. Only in certain spots. To a length of about 1/4 of an inch. Cut at an angle. I repeat: I had nothing to do with this one!!!!

Then this morning, my usually can't-wait-to-get-out-the-door-into-the-world child (the same one sporting the new 'do) throws an all-out hissy fit when I tell her it's time to get dressed for church. You know, our church, good old FUMC, a place she feels totally at home in. Well, today she did NOT want to go and if I made her it was going to be kicking and screaming. So, worried that something has happened I don't know about, I repeatedly ask her if something went wrong/somebody said something mean/etc... until she finally shouts 'NO!!!!'. But she won't give me any reason at all other than she just doesn't feel like it. I try telling her how important it is that we go, how much she loves Sunday school, that she'll get to see me play bells in church, all to no avail. So, realizing that reasoning is getting me nowhere and the clock is ticking, I tell her she has to stay in her room until we leave. This leads to all-out screaming, so I shut the door in a vain attempt to drown her out, which makes her even madder. I go to get dressed then physically force her into the car. She sulks the whole way there and doesn't acknowledge my existance when I drop her off at her class. But wouldn't you know it, when I see her in church after Sunday school she's all smiles and is soooooooooo glad we came. I swear kids this age are bipolar. It used to amuse me before I had my own kids and I'd see somebody else's little angel acting schitzo; now it's my life. You just have to try to deal with it the best you can and laugh about it whenever you get the chance; otherwise YOU'LL be the one with a script for lithium.

My condolences to Dawn & Chris on your loss; I know you're feeling both relief and sadness at the same time. Know we are thinking of you. Same goes for Amy & Mike; you are in our prayers. Can we send a treat your way?

Jeri: hope the snow is awesome and you're getting to see some sunshine.

Kami: hope your healing is speedy and you are feeling great.

And for anybody out there who knows Angie: she really would love for visitors to come see her. She will leave her front door open if she's feeling up to company and closed if she is not. Keep the visits short (10-15 minutes) but make them if you can.

Take care everybody. Remember to smile.

Where to begin???

Wow. It's been a while. Been meaning to come here sooner but just haven't gotten around to it. Sounds like the story of my life. I don't mean to put things off, I'm just extremely good at getting caught up in all the things that make up life in general.

I've come to the realization that I have a nasty tendency to take things for granted. I have a very blessed life: a husband who loves me despite my faults; two beautiful kids who are healthy and energetic enough to keep me busy (as it should be); a wonderful home I feel safe and secure in; and friends to keep me sane. I think that, getting caught up in all the little stuff, I tend to keep the focus on myself and not on what's important. I've mentioned Pablo from the Backyardigans and how I identify with him (wierd, I know, but I do tend to see a LOT of him on a daily basis) and it makes me see how silly I look in my monumental efforts to make mountains out of molehills. It also makes me realize that, when under stress, I tend to focus on me, to think/say/do things without thinking of the consequences or effects to others I care about. I know I'm not alone in this, but that doesn't make it OK, especially to someone I've hurt, even if that was not my intention. I'm a big girl and need to slow down before I act. Venting is not a bad thing; it's actually a great stress reliever. The problem comes when, in the heat of the moment, something is aired publicly that should have been dealt with one-on-one. It's always easier to 'say' things from behind a computer screen; it's a whole 'nother enchilada to do the adult thing and deal with it face to face. I tend to shy away from any conflict or unpleasantness; I have some innate need to minimize my feelings to others in person. Let me tell you: that'll get you into trouble. Either you end up throwing it out there for everybody to see at once, or you bottle it inside until one day the straw breaks your back and you explode over nothing. The whole process can cause a lot more hurt that if the initial problem/feeling/etc. had been dealt with correctly in the first place. What can I say?? I'm a chicken. But my realization that I need to honestly take care of what's important to me makes me determined to work on it. The really good things in life require care, work, and attention; those things that come too easily usually aren't the things that are worth keeping or holding close. Call it a late resolution for 2006; it's about time. You'd have thought I'd have figured it out before now. So I'm slow. At least I'm trying.

For those who wondered how the ski trip went, it was great. Maggie did really well in the car, especially considering we forgot all the DVD's and she had to do the trip the old-fashioned way without movies. It snowed really hard our first day out, so she finally got to experience snowflakes you could actually see without squinting. She seemed to enjoy ski school after the daily morning pep talk from Jeff & me. She got to spend some quality time with her daddy, eat steak, and most importantly, make an actual snow angel, which was her only goal for the whole trip. For Jeff &I it was obviously a different type of vacation than we've been taking the last few years, but it was fun to be there as a family (don't worry, we're going to include Kendall once she's potty-trained and actually listens to other people; how long that will take is anybody's guess). On our last day skiing, Jeff & I snuck into the ski school area and got some pics of her; since we were covered head to toe, she had no idea we were there. I'd really like to be able to go skiing more than once a year; everybody knows how I love the mountains and cold weather. Plus I've lucked out with a ski partner who skiis at my level and likes the same type of runs that I do; no pressure to do harder stuff and no problem with the ski straight through from 10:00 am to 2:00 pm before heading in to the bar for a round of Fat Tire and a late lunch. Ahhhhhh.......the life.

The family is doing much better healthwise than the last time I blogged. Kendall is getting another set of tubes on Tuesday, but she's feeling great. Jeff's mom figured out that the 'trick' to getting her to take medicine is just to use a big-people spoon. Wow. Wish I'd thought of it. Maggie has a kind of nagging-kiddy-crud-sounding cough that sounds awful, but other than last Tuesday, when she ran a slight fever, she seems to feel fine. My only worry is that it's starting to sound like she may have passed whatever it is on to Jeff; he started hacking last night. Hopefully it'll be a mild one for him. I finally got caught by the stomach bug everybody else was dealing with last time. I lucked out and was able to get some Phenergan on board within a few hours; although I spent most of the next day sleeping off the Phenergan hangover, it was totally worth it. I wouldn't have traded my case for what Jeff went through for anything. I am so not a nurse and I feel sorry for my family for how I deal with them when they are sick. I want to help but there's also a strong sense of self-preservation there...........

So that's where things stand in my life right now. In addition to the usual, I've been working a lot lately trying to get old patient files onto my new billing system, so I feel like I've been in my own little world lately. I promise I'm still here and I'll try to come more often so you aren't stuck reading my blogs that go on and on and on and on..................................

Take care. Hope all is well.

Other than the gay spouse thing, not much of a shocker here

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Can I please have some cheese with my whiiiine?!

Do you ever catch yourself, after a day (or days) of constant bitching and think "You know, if somebody were recording everything I said and played it back to me I'd probably want to smack myself!!"?? Welcome to my world of whine as life around the Hood household hasn't been very conducive to happy thoughts lately.

The good points of the last few weeks: 1) USC LOST!!!!!! WooooHoooo!!!!! No matter how cute Matt Liener (however you spell his name) is, I wanted to smack him when he stated after the game "Well I still think we're the better team......". Oh good Lord; just get over yourself, would you?? It all just supports my grudge against a team who thinks they all float somewhere above the rest of us, especially those hicks from the Big 12. Ugh. Almost makes me consider sporting some orange and white, but not quite. 2.) We all survived Christmas break intact. 3) OU made a decent showing at the Holiday bowl and managed to win. 4) I did get to spend a little time with the hubby.

Now for the main reason I blog, to vent about life in general. First of all, we decided to hire a new financial consultant. I'm all for this, as our spending habits have gotten out of control lately and we need to be putting that money towards our retirement. But all the pressure is on me to produce a budget, list of expenditures, etc. and right now, being in the middle of changing my billing software, I haven't had time to deal with it. Jeff just doesn't get it. I work at home so I should have time, right??!! I'm trying to cut back and be sensible about things, and I know that we both went towards convenience because we've been so busy lately. Then Jeff sees this PBS special about healthy eating, etc., and wonders why our kids don't get more home-cooked meals, healthier foods, etc. Because they require planning ahead?? Preparation?? Cleanup?? If he wanted June Cleaver he married the wrong person. I'm trying, OK??

I just got the Christmas decorations put up last weekend. I love to decorate but putting everything up bums me out, so I tend to procrastinate where that's concerned. The house just isn't as colorful now. I did leave out all my nutcrackers in our new spare bedroom downstairs; I think they're just too cool to pack away and have out one month a year. So there.

Then there's the stomach bug that's going around. Both kids have had it (ask Jeri how Kendall managed to puke across the entire length of my kitchen Saturday night), but were over it within 48 hours. Jeff started feeling bad on Wednesday and from about 4:00 am to 11:00 am this morning couldn't get more than 10 feet away from the bathroom, and I'm not talking about vomiting. He's a typical guy when he's sick, whiny, needy, and basically another child for me to take care of. Is it bad that, him being #3 this week, I'm getting a little resentful having to be the one to meet everybody else's needs all the time?? I love my family, but I'm in need of some serious alone time where I'm not constantly wiping things down with Clorox and anti-bacterial gel while trying not to breathe through my nose. I have managed to escape my family's fate so far (knocking furiously on wood here) and I hope to stay that way. Please keep your fingers crossed for me; our pharmacist says this is one of the more virulent stomach bugs he's seen in a while, and a lot of the hosptial staff has been dealing with it. Wash your hands everybody!!! Antibacterial hand gel is your friend!!

Jeff was supposed to leave today on his boy's ski trip but is wisely backing out. Somehow the thought of having the runs while driving through rural Kansas doesn't sound appealing, and I'm sure his driving-buddy-to-be appreciates this. The ski trip itself has been a bone of contention between us for over a month. This weekend was supposed to have been the girls-only scrapbooking trip to Norman, as scheduled months ago, but the boys managed to 'forget' that when they planned their trip. How convenient for them. When I saw the OR call schedule for this month and noticed that Lad & Jeff were both off this weekend I knew I'd been screwed. When I confronted him about it, he just threw his hands in the air and said "Sorry. Had nothing to do with the scheduling." with an undertone of 'get over it". I feel bad for Jeff, because this stomach bug is really kicking him in the butt (no pun intented) but when he whines "This sucks!! I never get to do anything!!" I'll admit I have to fight the urge to smack, if only so I won't contaminate myself. Arrrrgh. Here's my idea: once we decide on another date for the scrapbooking trip, we need to show up as a group to a poker night , announce our plans and the date, and hand out reminders to everybody there. I'm willing to be obnoxious if you are. Sound good??

Lately I've been identifying with Pablo on the Backyardigans (he's the blue penguin). Pablo has a habit of panicking under stress; I swear it's like looking in a freaking mirror. Just ask Kiah and Kami about my whirlwind entrance into gymnastics. It's like I lose control under stress, and that drives me crazy. Pity the soul who innocently asks me at that moment "So how are you doing?" because they are unknowingly giving me permission to vent uncontrollably. (sorry Kami & Kiah). Really starting to wonder if the dose of prozac needs upping. What bothers me is that I can't pinpoint why my stress level is up and my anal-retentive nature is being driven crazy by that.

Sigh.
I need a vacation.
From my family.
Just kidding.
Kind of.
Drinks at the Martini Bar, anybody??

At least I can say I feel better now. I've been wanting to blog for a while but the site has been slow (couldn't be that I'm impatient, no sir!!!). This has become my sounding board and allows me to vent without trapping some poor soul into listening to it against their will. Thank you to my friends who keep checking on me and keeping me in line. I don't know what I'd do without you guys!!!! You rock. Thanks for putting up with me. Stay healthy.

Can 2005 be over, already??!!

Well, you know those days when you're scared to ask, 'What next?'? I think I'm headed down that path. First of all, Jeff's brother, JoeDon, fell out of his wheelchair last Thursday and has been at home in bed ever since. For those of you who don't know, JoeDon is physically and mentally handicapped as the result of trauma from surgery to remove a brain tumor when he was a child. He is partially paralyzed on one side of his body and doesn't have much strength to begin with, so he cannot pull himself up into his chair because he's too sore. We're worried that it's going to take him a long time to work out any soreness laying in bed, and it pus him at an increased risk for blood clots from the inactivity. Plus, he's staying at his parents house, requiring their care at a time when they're already dealing with the illness of Jeff's aunt Norma. This just adds to their stress and I want to help them, but I can't from here with the kids home.
Norma died peacefully on Tuesday afternoon. She was sedated and basically went to sleep. I know her immediate family is sad, but at the same time they're relieved it's over. Her funeral is tomorrow; honestly not really looking forward to it (as if anybody ever does) but will go because I really liked her and her husband, Elmer, and for Jeff's family. Jeff needs to go to soothe his dad's hurt feelings, a result of his worries about his sister, a rushed phone conversation and misunderstanding about the pressures Jeff faces trying to schedule contractors for his grandmother's house inbetween surgeries. Plus they're both too stubborn for their own good. Jane & I sometimes just want to give them a good kick in the rear. Not that it would do any good.......
Wednesday morning I'm in my accountant's office scraping together info he's been asking for all year but really needs before 12-31 when I notice Kendall's ear is all crusty. Great. Not only has she ruptured her eardrum, but its the right one (the other two times it was the left) and it probably happened sometime between Monday night and Tuesday morning and I didn't even notice until Wednesday morning. So I guess I'll slip down a few notches on the candidate list for Mother of the Year. So back to Dr. Vest's office to see Kevin, his PA, for more antibiotic drops and decongestants and wait-and-seeing. And just Sunday when my mom asked me about her ears I was like "Oh she's doing great!!! No visits to Dr. Vest until her hearing test next summer!!". Yeah right. My foot looks like Swiss cheese from me shooting myself there so many times........
Today they moved Jeff's grandmother and uncle out of their house on 10th street by the college to their new one on Kirby. The move is NOT by choice; ECU wants the land to build something on and basically pressured them to move. They thought Jeff's uncle was just holding out for more $$$, but the truth is that his grandmother barely leaves the house and he was worried about the stress the move would cause her. He was hoping to be able to wait until after she'd passed away, but the college kept pressuring them and they found this house so today was the day. To spare Genevive the stress of watching them disassemble her home of 40+ years Jeff's mom brought her over here until they at least had her new room all set up for her. She did pretty well but it took a lot longer than she thought it would and she was tearful and shaky by the time they took her to her new house. Poor girl. Moving is stressful enough, but she also knows that they're going to tear down her old house. Hopefully she'll adjust.
Anyhoo, I guess I'm stressing about all this on some level, because I'm having trouble sleeping and my mouth is breaking out in all these little ulcers. Sigh. At least I get to have a night at the movies tonight, thanks to a wonderful friend of mine, and tomorrow I have a New Years Eve-Eve party. The things that would really cheer me up right now?? 1. Some alone time with the hubby. I think his name starts with a J.... 2. For the Sooners to make a good showing tonight at the Holiday Bowl. Notice no watch-party at the Hoods this year; we were thinking maybe we were jinxing them. 3. For Texas to whip up on USC. Not that I'm rooting for Texas, mind you, I'm just really against USC. Now THAT would really make my day........
So out with the old and in with the new and all that jazz. I hope everybody's holidays have been wonderful and 2006 is full of promise for you and your family. Cheers!!

Only Rambling.....but at least it's a post!!!!

I don't know if it's the time of year or if it was reading Roz's blog about her father's birthday, but I've been thinking a lot about my dad lately. He died 10 years ago this past June and there are still times where I miss him so much it hurts. I was (and still am) one of those little girls who adored their Daddy and was lucky enough to know that he adored me, too. We always had a good relationship and I have lots of wonderful memories of him. I remember him calling me at OU on my 19th birthday when he was in Australia on a business trip; we talked as two adults for almost an hour. I shudder to think how much that call cost, but he didn't care. Having grown up with only an older brother, he sometimes had trouble understanding us females in general, but he tried. My depression my senior year in college, the spring before he died, was something totally foreign to him, but he was always supportive of me, which made me love him even more. Kendall is named for him (Kenneth) and I think she is a constant channel for all his stubborn genes and impish behavior. I think that some of the times I miss him the most are when I see the girls with Jeff's dad and the wonderful relationship they have. It's very hard sometimes to know that I won't be able to see that kind of relationship between my girls and my dad. I want them to know about him, that I actually did have a dad myself, even if they've never seen him in person, but I don't want to shove it down their throats or take anything away from their relationship to Don.

I think another reason this is all on my mind is that Jeff's aunt Norma, the woman who, with her husband Elmer, was our free and trusted babysitter for Maggie her whole first year of life. You couldn't ask anything better than a couple of grandparents missing their own grandchildren to come spend time with yours just becuase they want to. Anyway, she has been at Mercy heart hospital for almost two weeks for what they originally thought was congestive heart failure. She was later diagnosed with pneumonia, but for whatever reason the docs were eventually moved to do a lung biopsy this past Monday. The biopsy showed she has pulmonary fibrosis; basically the tissue in her lungs is hardening into scar-like tissue, which doesn't function very well for breathing. They don't know the exact cause in her case, but there is no cure for it. She has had trouble breathing and has been on a vent since the biopsy and is not doing well at all. They were going to try one more last ditch breathing treatment this morning, but the docs really don't hold out much hope and if it fails she will probably be taken off the vent tomorrow, per her wishes. Most likely she'll only live for a short time after that, but she's pretty sedated and would basically go to sleep. My heart just aches for her immediate family; her husband Elmer is a former Marine who looks tough but is just a big 'ole teddy bear who adores my kids. I know he is heartbroken at the thought of letting her go but will do it because she would hate to be kept alive without hope. Please keep them in your prayers.

To me, Christmas should be about family, so I guess it makes sense to think about all of them, living or not, this time of year. I just am trying to be greatful for the joy they brought to my life and the countless blessings they gave to me. I know my dad is up there somewhere, watching over us, laughing at the antics of his granddaughters. I hope we make him proud.

Don't be getting all worried about me. I'm OK, just keeping my memories close and alive in my heart. I firmly believe that talking about those you love whenever are really missing them keeps them close when you need them.

Merry Christmas, everybody. May it be wonderful for you all.

All of this stuff is mine??!!

I've recently found myself in a non-nesting cleaning frenzy and I must say, I'm absolutely amazed at how much crap I have!!! I think the Salvation Army people are beginning to think the same thing, as they've seen me at least twice a week for the last few months to unload it all onto them in the name of a good tax receipt. I just figured that it was time to tackle all those crap-catcher-spots we all have in our homes; you know, those areas that you hate to venture into because you never know what will fall out on your toes the second you open the door?? I also figured that, if I was going to do this, I was going to do it right. I must say, it's nice not to ever worry if anybody takes a peek in my cabinets. Yes, my anal-retentive side is showing, but as long as I'm happy, who cares??

I was able to get a lot done today with Maggie at GSPS and Kendall laid out on the couch with a fever. That was really the main problem, along with all those yucky feelings fevers bring on, like the lethargy, achiness, and just plain feel bad stuff. I was so ticked off at her because she blatantly refused to take any Tylenol or ibuprofen, which I know would have made a world of difference in how she felt. But nooooooooooo.....she has to channel every difficult gene she inherited and spit the medicine back at me. Tonight, out of despiration, we stepped it up a notch and literally put the Tylenol where the sun don't shine. Good 'ole suppositories. At least she can't spit them back at me. If she can, I really don't want to know.......hopefully she'll at least sleep better tonight.

She has to break the fever by tomorrow because we're hosting Thanksgiving for our families this year, hence the driving force behind all the house cleaning and touch-ups. My main worry is for my 5-month-old nephew, Bryce, but since it's doubtful Kendall will even acknowlege his presence I think he'll be OK. It would also be nice for me to have a voice that at least falls back into the 'sexy' range as I'm way beyond that right now into the land of lifelong chain-smoking-whiskey-drinking-lived-a-hard-life voice. My throat isn't really even sore; just feels a bit strained when I'm trying my damndest to 'yell' at my kids. What a bummer. Oh well, at least it's not bronchitis. Again.

A funny Maggie story for you: She was doing the typical four-year-old-bedtime-stall a few nights ago and kept coming to the banister to ask questions. By the third time I was like "What now??!!! Go to bed young lady!!!". Then she sheepishly states she only has one tiny question for me, so I agree, thinking a quick exit is coming. Her question?? "What is energy, Mommy?". I almost fell over laughing at the innocent way she asked then tried to fumble my way through the shortest possible response that would satisfy her. I guess it worked because I didn't hear from her again that night. She just cracks me up sometimes because she has no idea of the weight of some of the questions she asks me in that parentally weak time when we have them in bed and think we're almost home-free for the night (What are angels, Momma?; Where did Caitlin go?? Why?? Why can I see the moon at night??). She just blows me away sometimes and reminds me to stop and smell the roses and take my time to really listen to her an answer her questions. Yes, easier said than done at times, but I'm trying.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, if I don't talk to you before then. May you stay safe, happy, and healthy through the holidays!!!!

Ahhhhhh....now that's more like it!!!!

All I can say right now is it's about time!!!! I am one of those people who look forward to cold weather. I sweat at the drop of a hat so summer really isn't my prettiest time. Seriously, I'm in a better mood, have more energy, and I sleep a heck of a lot better when the temp in my house hovers in the lower 60's. Fortunately, my family is the same way. Kendall has been much less gritchy and all of us have been sleeping better. We finally had to turn on our heater yesterday afternoon, as the outside temp hovered in the upper 40's, and I set the thermostat for 64 degrees, which was perfect. So if you're cold-natured, you might want to bring a sweatshirt when you come to visit.........

We got our new Bowflex assembled and have been using it for a few days. Jeff has decided to ditch the low carb plan and try the one that came with the Bowflex. To be supportive, I'm trying it with him. It's not that hard to follow, since it includes things like soup for lunch and Lean Cuisine meals for dinner. The main problem is that he's limited to 1500 calories a day and I'm supposed to be at 1300. Doesn't sound bad until you start adding up calories and you realize that's not much food. I've found myself obsessing over my next meal pretty much all day long, so if I've seemed a bit distant, don't take it personally. The good thing is I've already lost 3 pounds in about a week. Not that I think I need to lose a lot, but I'd like to get to that magic weight we all have where our clothes seem to just fit 'right' and we feel really good. Luckily for me, that weight is a lot closer for me than my hubby. I just hope he can keep the weight he loses off; his weight has been see-sawing too much over the past few years. It worries me because I know that's not good for you. So wish us luck.

We are hosting the family for Thanksgiving next week, so also pray that we get our ovens fixed before then. It would be really interesting to see how we managed a meal like that with no ovens. Hmmmmm.........

Hope all is well in your corner of grater Ader. Just wanted to touch base with my blogging friends. Hey Dawn: See if you can block this one out: Ice, Ice, Baby!!!!