Where to begin???

Wow. It's been a while. Been meaning to come here sooner but just haven't gotten around to it. Sounds like the story of my life. I don't mean to put things off, I'm just extremely good at getting caught up in all the things that make up life in general.

I've come to the realization that I have a nasty tendency to take things for granted. I have a very blessed life: a husband who loves me despite my faults; two beautiful kids who are healthy and energetic enough to keep me busy (as it should be); a wonderful home I feel safe and secure in; and friends to keep me sane. I think that, getting caught up in all the little stuff, I tend to keep the focus on myself and not on what's important. I've mentioned Pablo from the Backyardigans and how I identify with him (wierd, I know, but I do tend to see a LOT of him on a daily basis) and it makes me see how silly I look in my monumental efforts to make mountains out of molehills. It also makes me realize that, when under stress, I tend to focus on me, to think/say/do things without thinking of the consequences or effects to others I care about. I know I'm not alone in this, but that doesn't make it OK, especially to someone I've hurt, even if that was not my intention. I'm a big girl and need to slow down before I act. Venting is not a bad thing; it's actually a great stress reliever. The problem comes when, in the heat of the moment, something is aired publicly that should have been dealt with one-on-one. It's always easier to 'say' things from behind a computer screen; it's a whole 'nother enchilada to do the adult thing and deal with it face to face. I tend to shy away from any conflict or unpleasantness; I have some innate need to minimize my feelings to others in person. Let me tell you: that'll get you into trouble. Either you end up throwing it out there for everybody to see at once, or you bottle it inside until one day the straw breaks your back and you explode over nothing. The whole process can cause a lot more hurt that if the initial problem/feeling/etc. had been dealt with correctly in the first place. What can I say?? I'm a chicken. But my realization that I need to honestly take care of what's important to me makes me determined to work on it. The really good things in life require care, work, and attention; those things that come too easily usually aren't the things that are worth keeping or holding close. Call it a late resolution for 2006; it's about time. You'd have thought I'd have figured it out before now. So I'm slow. At least I'm trying.

For those who wondered how the ski trip went, it was great. Maggie did really well in the car, especially considering we forgot all the DVD's and she had to do the trip the old-fashioned way without movies. It snowed really hard our first day out, so she finally got to experience snowflakes you could actually see without squinting. She seemed to enjoy ski school after the daily morning pep talk from Jeff & me. She got to spend some quality time with her daddy, eat steak, and most importantly, make an actual snow angel, which was her only goal for the whole trip. For Jeff &I it was obviously a different type of vacation than we've been taking the last few years, but it was fun to be there as a family (don't worry, we're going to include Kendall once she's potty-trained and actually listens to other people; how long that will take is anybody's guess). On our last day skiing, Jeff & I snuck into the ski school area and got some pics of her; since we were covered head to toe, she had no idea we were there. I'd really like to be able to go skiing more than once a year; everybody knows how I love the mountains and cold weather. Plus I've lucked out with a ski partner who skiis at my level and likes the same type of runs that I do; no pressure to do harder stuff and no problem with the ski straight through from 10:00 am to 2:00 pm before heading in to the bar for a round of Fat Tire and a late lunch. Ahhhhhh.......the life.

The family is doing much better healthwise than the last time I blogged. Kendall is getting another set of tubes on Tuesday, but she's feeling great. Jeff's mom figured out that the 'trick' to getting her to take medicine is just to use a big-people spoon. Wow. Wish I'd thought of it. Maggie has a kind of nagging-kiddy-crud-sounding cough that sounds awful, but other than last Tuesday, when she ran a slight fever, she seems to feel fine. My only worry is that it's starting to sound like she may have passed whatever it is on to Jeff; he started hacking last night. Hopefully it'll be a mild one for him. I finally got caught by the stomach bug everybody else was dealing with last time. I lucked out and was able to get some Phenergan on board within a few hours; although I spent most of the next day sleeping off the Phenergan hangover, it was totally worth it. I wouldn't have traded my case for what Jeff went through for anything. I am so not a nurse and I feel sorry for my family for how I deal with them when they are sick. I want to help but there's also a strong sense of self-preservation there...........

So that's where things stand in my life right now. In addition to the usual, I've been working a lot lately trying to get old patient files onto my new billing system, so I feel like I've been in my own little world lately. I promise I'm still here and I'll try to come more often so you aren't stuck reading my blogs that go on and on and on and on..................................

Take care. Hope all is well.