Only Rambling.....but at least it's a post!!!!

I don't know if it's the time of year or if it was reading Roz's blog about her father's birthday, but I've been thinking a lot about my dad lately. He died 10 years ago this past June and there are still times where I miss him so much it hurts. I was (and still am) one of those little girls who adored their Daddy and was lucky enough to know that he adored me, too. We always had a good relationship and I have lots of wonderful memories of him. I remember him calling me at OU on my 19th birthday when he was in Australia on a business trip; we talked as two adults for almost an hour. I shudder to think how much that call cost, but he didn't care. Having grown up with only an older brother, he sometimes had trouble understanding us females in general, but he tried. My depression my senior year in college, the spring before he died, was something totally foreign to him, but he was always supportive of me, which made me love him even more. Kendall is named for him (Kenneth) and I think she is a constant channel for all his stubborn genes and impish behavior. I think that some of the times I miss him the most are when I see the girls with Jeff's dad and the wonderful relationship they have. It's very hard sometimes to know that I won't be able to see that kind of relationship between my girls and my dad. I want them to know about him, that I actually did have a dad myself, even if they've never seen him in person, but I don't want to shove it down their throats or take anything away from their relationship to Don.

I think another reason this is all on my mind is that Jeff's aunt Norma, the woman who, with her husband Elmer, was our free and trusted babysitter for Maggie her whole first year of life. You couldn't ask anything better than a couple of grandparents missing their own grandchildren to come spend time with yours just becuase they want to. Anyway, she has been at Mercy heart hospital for almost two weeks for what they originally thought was congestive heart failure. She was later diagnosed with pneumonia, but for whatever reason the docs were eventually moved to do a lung biopsy this past Monday. The biopsy showed she has pulmonary fibrosis; basically the tissue in her lungs is hardening into scar-like tissue, which doesn't function very well for breathing. They don't know the exact cause in her case, but there is no cure for it. She has had trouble breathing and has been on a vent since the biopsy and is not doing well at all. They were going to try one more last ditch breathing treatment this morning, but the docs really don't hold out much hope and if it fails she will probably be taken off the vent tomorrow, per her wishes. Most likely she'll only live for a short time after that, but she's pretty sedated and would basically go to sleep. My heart just aches for her immediate family; her husband Elmer is a former Marine who looks tough but is just a big 'ole teddy bear who adores my kids. I know he is heartbroken at the thought of letting her go but will do it because she would hate to be kept alive without hope. Please keep them in your prayers.

To me, Christmas should be about family, so I guess it makes sense to think about all of them, living or not, this time of year. I just am trying to be greatful for the joy they brought to my life and the countless blessings they gave to me. I know my dad is up there somewhere, watching over us, laughing at the antics of his granddaughters. I hope we make him proud.

Don't be getting all worried about me. I'm OK, just keeping my memories close and alive in my heart. I firmly believe that talking about those you love whenever are really missing them keeps them close when you need them.

Merry Christmas, everybody. May it be wonderful for you all.